This is going to ruffle a few feathers but it has to be said … let us know in the comments who your voting for?
So, you think Margaret River or Byron Bay (if you’re an east coast kale-muncher) has the beach game locked? Mate, your brain’s taken a gap year. Margaret River’s a bloody nightmare now—traffic thicker than a tradie’s accent, Woolies car park’s a war zone, and the Shire’s clearly spent all the rate payers dollars on artisanal footpaths for influencers. I'm so done with the place. Used to be a chill country town known for its wines, now it’s a chardonnay-soaked circus. Byron’s no better—wellness gurus and kombucha snobs clogging the joint. God help me.
Then I stumbled into Esperance, the sassy southern underdog. I’ve circled the globe twice, and this place is the Maldives' bogan cousin with water so blue it’s basically bragging, sand so white it’d make a bleach bottle jealous. Tourists? Nah, just kangaroos hopping about like they're auditioning for Australia's Next Top Marsupial. Up north was a sweat-fest—cyclone season’s a hard NO — but Esperance? It’s paradise without the pretension. Plus, it’s got Pink Lake, a salty stunner Margaret River can only dream of while sipping its overpriced chardonnay.
Let’s break it down, cage-match style.
Beaches? Esperance’s Twilight and Lucky Bay are postcard porn—turquoise waves and sand that squeaks like a toddler’s tantrum. Margaret River’s got Prevelly and Surfers Point, all big waves and “hold my board, bro” energy—nice, but watch that riptide, champ. Esperance wins for the roo-photobomb flex.
Vibe? Esperance is “end of the earth” cool—720km from Perth, locals so laid-back they’d shrug off an alien invasion. Margaret River’s that mate who name-drops their yoga guru and owns 12 linen shirts. Wineries, cheese shops, smugness—you can’t sneeze without hitting a $40 pinot. Esperance keeps it real; Maggs is too busy swirling sauv blanc to notice the chaos.
Food? Esperance does fish and chips like a boss—fresh, crispy, no bullshit. Margaret River’s out here with truffle foam and wine pairings for the bloody seagulls. Tasty, sure, but I’m not forking out $50 for a crumb of “artisan” nonsense. Esperance takes it—less wank, more wallet-friendly.
Wildlife? Esperance’s roos are the GOAT—beach-hopping legends who’d outpose any influencer. Dolphins and sea lions drop by for a g’day too. Margaret River’s got whales—humpbacks cruising past like they’re on a Contiki tour—and the odd shark to spice up your swim. Roos beat whales for the LOLs, so Esperance edges it.
The drive? Esperance is an eight-hour haul—past Wave Rock, through scrub that’d make your playlist cry for mercy. Or, snag a 1.5-hour flight with Rex Airlines, bless their regional-loving hearts—we love Rex for keeping us aloft and sane! That distance is a godsend too—Esperance skips the weekend warrior invasion, no hordes of day-trippers turning it into selfie central, thanks to its road-trip shield. Margaret River’s a cocky three-hour skip, so every latte-sipper and their designer dog can roll in before lunch and good luck getting a table at a restaurant. Esperance wins for the “I’m a road-trip warrior” cred.
Verdict? Margaret River’s the polished ex who won’t stop banging on about their vineyard tour, while Esperance is the rough-diamond mate who’s funnier, cheaper, and doesn’t care if you rock up in trackies. Beaches, vibes, wildlife—Esperance smashes it with heart and a cheeky grin.
So readers, what's your favourite coastal gem - Esperance, Margaret River, or beyond? Drop us a comment and tell us why the rest are either pretentious wave wanks or kangaroo-deficient letdowns!
Calling All Touring Ladies
It wouldn't be a Langtrees blog without a bit of information for our touring ladies. Did you know Esperance has a 5:1 bloke-to-gal ratio—think sun-baked muscled tradies, throw in a few oh so cute farm boys, fishermen and surfers who’ve forgotten what a razor is. Ladies, grab your gear, hit the road, and rake it in while those roos cheer you on. Just don’t tell Margaret River—they’ll retaliate with a wine-tasting tantrum and a $20 cheese stick!
Author: I❤️Esperance
FOR: Langtrees.com
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“Haha had a good giggle at this! I love the south west but yes agree it’s more busier and commercial now with airbnbs popping up everywhere! Trying to find a piece of seclusion is harder to come by! Esperance is stunning, secluded remote & far far away for a reason - I’m considering building a property there to retire & live a life of quiet bliss ?”
“What a hilarious and bold take on the great coastal showdown! Esperance really does sound like the laid-back, no-fuss paradise we all need after the madness of places like Margaret River. The beaches, wildlife, and vibe all seem unbeatable, plus who doesn’t love a place that’s less about the hype and more about the heart? I’m with you—Esperance all the way! Anyone else feeling the same, or are you still team Maggie?”
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