Get Tested, Stay Sexy: Normalising STI Screening in Queer and Open Relationships

When was your last STI check?

If that question made you squirm, you’re not alone. For all the progress we’ve made in sex positivity and education, there’s still a lingering stigma around STI testing, especially in queer and open communities where testing should be the norm, not the exception.

Here’s the truth: getting tested isn’t dirty. It’s not shameful. It’s one of the most empowering, caring, and yes…sexy…things you can do for yourself and your partners.

Let’s break down why STI testing should be a standard part of your sex life, how to talk about it confidently, and where to go if you’re ready to get checked.

Why STI Testing Still Feels Awkward (and How to Fix It)

There’s a long history of STI testing being tied to punishment, fear, or judgement. Many of us were raised to think testing equals "you’ve done something wrong." In reality, it just means you’re looking after your health, like going to the dentist or getting a pap smear.

In queer and open relationships, STI testing plays an even more central role because:

• Multiple partners = more potential exposure
• Condomless sex may be part of negotiated agreements
• STIs don’t always cause symptoms, many go unnoticed without regular testing
• Testing allows for honesty, safety, and peace of mind across your network

Reframing Testing: From "Ugh" to Empowered

Let’s flip the script. Instead of seeing STI testing as awkward or scary, treat it as:

✔️ A responsible part of adulting
✔️ A respectful gift to your current and future partners
✔️ A way to reduce anxiety around sex
✔️ A conversation starter about pleasure and boundaries

And let’s not forget, it’s way easier than it used to be. No long waits, no invasive questions, and in many cases, you don’t even need a full physical exam.

How Often Should You Get Tested?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but here are some helpful guidelines:

• Every 3–6 months if you’re sexually active with multiple partners
• After any new partner, especially before condomless sex
• Immediately if you experience symptoms like unusual discharge, pain, or sores
• Annually at minimum if you're sexually active, even with one partner

Some STIs (like HIV and Hepatitis C) may require blood tests, while others (like chlamydia and gonorrhoea) can be picked up with a urine test or swab.

Where to Get Tested in Australia

Getting tested is accessible and often free or low-cost. Try:

• Local sexual health clinics
• LGBTQIA+ community centres (many offer anonymous testing)
• Your GP (especially if they’re queer-friendly)
• Online services that mail discreet self-testing kits

You can search Healthdirect for services near you or use apps like Let Them Know to anonymously inform past partners if needed.

Talking About Testing With Partners

It doesn’t have to kill the mood, in fact, it can boost connection. Here’s how:

Try saying:

• “I get tested every three months, my last one was all clear in May. How about you?”
• “Before we get more intimate, I’d love to talk about STI safety. What’s your usual routine?”
• “I care about staying safe and would love to do this together, maybe we both get tested this week?”

You’re not accusing them of being risky, you’re showing them that you respect them enough to be transparent.

What Happens If You Test Positive?

Let’s normalise this, too. STIs are incredibly common. Most are treatable or manageable, and getting a positive result doesn’t mean you’re “dirty” or unworthy of love.

If you do test positive:

1. Follow the treatment plan - many STIs clear up quickly with antibiotics.
2. Let recent partners know - you can do this anonymously if needed.
3. Pause sexual activity until you're no longer infectious.
4. Check in emotionally - talk to someone you trust, or a therapist if you're feeling shame or anxiety.

A diagnosis doesn’t define you. How you handle it, that’s what matters.

Langtrees: Where Safety Comes First

At Langtrees, we believe that knowing your STI status is a power move. Our priority is offering:

✔️ A judgment-free space for everyone
✔️ Clean, well-maintained rooms and supplies
✔️ A culture of respect, protection, and informed consent
✔️ Encouragement for regular testing and transparent communication

Whether you’re solo, in a couple, or part of a poly network, your safety is our highest standard.

Testing Is Caring. Testing Is Sexy.

There’s nothing hotter than someone who’s confident, honest, and invested in mutual safety. Normalising STI testing isn’t just good for your health, it’s good for your relationships and your sense of self.

So next time someone asks when you were last tested, you can answer with pride. Because taking charge of your sexual health? That’s very sexy.

Find out more at Langtrees.com

Author: Amanda Lambros (Love Coach)
FOR: Langtrees.com

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