Last Meals (What Would Yours Be)

We've all heard of the famous “Last Supper,” right? Jesus, as the 33-year-old Yeshua, in  Hebrew, (aka the original influencer), gets the gang (disciples) together to counsel them as to his impending doom of soon to be cruelly nailed to a cross by those seriously bad-tempered Romans (talk about an awkward dinner conversation). It was there that he reportedly started the bread and wine ceremony of the modern Christian mass known as the Holy Eucharist asking those present to “Do this in remembrance of me”. But lets put aside the whole “salvation of mankind” thing for a minute for a slightly more down-to-earth query: what was on the menu?

AI Meta explains “The last supper included unleavened bread and wine, which are described in the Gospels as central to the ritual. Based on historical research into a Jewish Passover meal, the meal likely also included bitter herbs, olives, dates, and a type of bean stew. A fish sauce and possibly lamb shank may have also been served, (Mmmm lamb shanks).” However, the record shows that the big man knowing well that his old mate Judas had betrayed him, partook of the entirety of the meal himself but gave Judas only of a small piece of the unleavened bread. Feeling guilty no doubt and knowing by his actions that Jesus knew what he had done Judas summarily left the meal knowing that the next knock on the door would be the Romans.

So that’s Meta AI’s brief detail of perhaps the most famous last supper but now let us look at the last meals of other mere mortals both famous and infamous.

Musicians 

• Elvis Presley: Four scoops of vanilla ice cream and six chocolate chip cookies.
• Jimi Hendrix: A tuna fish sandwich.
• John Lennon: A corn beef sandwich.
• Michael Jackson's last meal was reportedly a healthy spinach salad with chicken, feta cheese, blueberries, strawberries, and almonds, dressed with a balsamic vinaigrette.
• Frank Sinatra A grilled cheese sandwich
• Mama Cass At the time it was reported that she choked on a ham sandwich – subsequently reported as a heart attack.

(Can I point out the seemingly bleeding obvious at this point – sandwiches can be deadly for your health – beware the breaded trap!)

Historical Figures

• Abraham Lincoln: Mock turtle soup, chicken stuffing, sweet potatoes, and cauliflower with cheese. 
• Princess Diana: Do soul vegetable tempura and a mushroom omelette. 
• Mahatma Gandhi: Steamed vegetables, including cauliflower, carrots, and aloe juice. 
• Napoleon Bonaparte: Liver, bacon chops, sautéed kidneys, eggs, and tomato toast. 
• Hitler: Spaghetti with a light sauce (he was a vegetarian – WTF!)
• Saddam Hussain: Boiled chicken and rice

 Actors and Celebrities 

• Marilyn Monroe: Stuffed mushrooms, meatballs, and champagne.
• Michael Jackson: A spinach salad and chicken breast.
• John F. Kennedy: Two boiled eggs and toast with jelly.
• James Dean: A slice of apple pie
• Ernest Hemingway: New York strip steak baked potato and Caesar salad
• James Belushi: Lentil soup
• Liberace: Cream of wheat cereal and brown sugar
• James Gandolfini: Two orders of fried king prawns and a plate of foie gras
• Anthony Bourdain: Braised pork knuckle sauerkraut and cervelat sausage

So that’s a sample of last meals of the mostly good and also some very bad folk who sadly or otherwise passed. Now it’s time for the dreaded and dreadful death row inmates’ and serial killers.

• John Wayne Gacy: The horrible killer of 20 young men who attended kids party as a clown. His last meal was a dozen fried shrimp, a bucket of KFC Original Recipe fried chicken, (He used to manage KFC stores) French fries, and a pound of strawberries.
• Timothy McVeigh: The Oklahoma City Bomber ate 2 pints of mint chocolate chip ice-cream
• Ted Bundy: Murdered at least 30 young women. Last meal medium-rare steak, eggs over easy, hash browns, toast with butter and jelly, juice, and milk
• Aileen Wornous: Killed several men who picked her up off the highway as a prostitute. Had a burger and a black coffee.
• Lawrence Russell Brewer: Spoiled it all for all the following death rowers in Texas by mischievously ordering a massive feast including two chicken fried steaks with gravy and sliced onions; a triple-patty bacon cheeseburger; a cheese omelette with ground beef, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers and jalapeños; a bowl of fried okra with ketchup; one pound of barbecued meat with half a loaf of bread and then did not eat a thing. Last meals in Texas were thereafter cancelled, and they ate what the kitchen was making that day.
• Victor Feuger: In 1963 murderer Victor Fuguer requested a single olive with the pit still in it. He told guards he hoped an olive tree would sprout from his grave "as a sign of peace." After his execution the pip of the olive was found in his pocket.

 Anyhoo what would I order if by chance the literary police authorities ever caught up with me for murdering the art/science of blogging?

Might I please have very slowly cooked (a year maybe) roast vaquita (the world’s rarest mammal) with the very very rare Amazonian forest blue speckled yam and six 100-year eggs (aka Century eggs) a Chinese delicacy – no hurry – happy to wait – very happy to wait.

Regards Magnum
(Happy Waiter)
For: Langtrees.com 

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