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We know from our prior Langtrees Blog, How Long Should Sex Last?, that studies show the average foreplay session clocks in at around ten minutes, with the main event lasting anywhere from another ten to a generous fifteen minutes. Now, considering that a premier establishment like Langtrees VIP in Burswood, Perth, sets the scene at $500 per hour, that means your grand performance—both the warm-up and the final act—eats up about half your allocated time.
But folks, I’m here to propose a ground-breaking, game-changing, and quite frankly, relationship-saving concept: 5-Play. As a self-trained expert on all things women (and a lifelong enthusiast of their finer qualities), I say it’s time we elevate the experience and give the brain what it really craves—because let’s be honest, that’s the real sexual organ. Yeah, baby! Show us your brain!
Let’s talk science for a second. According to VeryWell Health, during arousal, the male brain releases acetylcholine, setting off a delightful domino effect that gets nitric oxide pumping into the arteries of the penis, turning “we’ll see” into “yes, please!” Meanwhile, Business Insider informs us that both male and female brains release dopamine (hello, pleasure!), oxytocin (the bonding hormone that also makes babies latch onto their mothers), and prolactin (that satisfied ahhh feeling post-climax).
Then, just when the party’s winding down, serotonin swoops in like a bouncer at last call, promoting relaxation and—bam!—suddenly, he’s in a deep post-coital snooze, leaving his partner staring at the ceiling, contemplating all her life choices.
Enter 5-Play. A wise woman once enlightened me on its necessity when I collapsed in a sweaty, panting heap beside her, ready for dreamland. She was not having it. She wanted—no, demanded—5-Play: the afterglow ritual of tender touches, soft whispers about her beauty, and poetic reflections on the wonder of what just transpired (yes, including the wet spot on the sheets). It turns out, this extra time of connection, appreciation, and lingering intimacy is the delicious icing on the sexual cake—the thing that keeps her satisfied, keeps you in good standing, and dare I say, keeps the world a saner place.
Going back to the typical one-hour experience and with all going well, there’s a solid ten to twenty minutes left on the clock—prime real estate for 5-Play. And trust me, those minutes matter. Case in point: If a certain orange-tinted grumpy Trumpy had received his fair share of 5-Play from Melania, he might’ve spent less time worrying about the Gulf of Mexico and more time appreciating the gulf forming in his own marital bed. The angry frustrated man devoid of 5-Play, and probably more, is consequentially causing all sorts of problems for the world. Ladies for the sake of world peace I strongly recommend you insist on the use of 5-Play.
Author: Magnum
FOR: Langtrees.com
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“Hey Magnum I loved this blog — not just because it was funny (which it was), or cheeky (which it definitely was), but because underneath the laughs, there’s a powerful truth that a lot of us forget… or never get taught in the first place. Connection — real connection — doesn’t begin or end with the act. It lives in the space before and after. In the presence. In the attention. In the softness. You’ve tapped into something bigger than sex here. You’re talking about intimacy — the kind that calms the nervous system, opens the heart, and reminds us we’re not just bodies crashing together, but people seeking to feel seen, safe, and cherished. And yeah, the science you threw in was solid — dopamine, oxytocin, prolactin, serotonin… But what matters just as much, if not more, is something you can’t measure with hormones. It’s presence. It’s giving. That’s the part I want to highlight. Because I’ve come to believe that giving is the greatest gift we can offer not just our partners — but ourselves. In those extra minutes you called “5-Play,” when we give attention, praise, warmth, care — we’re not just topping up our partner’s emotional tank… we’re filling our own. We’re honouring the moment. And it matters. I once learned something from a man named Christopher Howard, and it’s stayed with me ever since: “Give someone what they want, and I will get what I want by default.” It changed the way I approach relationships, love, even friendships. Because taking without giving might work for a while. We might get lucky a few times. But the universe — it never forgets. It doesn’t skip a beat. Eventually, it balances the books. Always. And so when you give… those soft words, those lingering touches, that gaze that says “I’m still here with you” — you’re building credit with the universe. You’re doing your part to bring peace to someone else’s world. And that ripple? It spreads. Maybe even far enough to calm a cranky Trumpy or two, yeah? So thank you for the reminder. For the humour, the wisdom, and the invitation to be better lovers — and better humans. Peace Yoda”
“The Lost Art of 5-Play is about savouring every moment together, exploring emotional intimacy and connection that deepens your bond. The dedication to effort transforms a relationship from ordinary to extraordinary, making love an adventure worth taking.”
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