The Ultimate Guide of “How Not to Get Blocked” - Sex Worker Edition

Ladies of negotiable affection are no strangers to the art of filtering out the "special" kind of gentleman. You know, the one who thinks he's got it all figured out, but in reality, he’s one bad move away from a permanent block. So, let’s take a walk through the top mistakes that’ll have you on the fast track to being ghosted, blocked, and forgotten, with a little humour along the way.

NOTE TO READER: Langtrees only promotes safe sex practices as it is illegal to offer BBBJs or any unprotected sex services in Australia. 

1. Viagra + Pre-Game = A Major Fail
Ah yes, the classic "let me jerk off first and take a Viagra so I can go all night" strategy. Newsflash: You’re not the Energizer Bunny, and the vagina is not a frayable piece of fabric. You’re creating friction, not satisfaction. Take it from us: blocked. Not the good kind of blocked either—the “I’m going to need an ointment” kind of blocked.

2. Mr. Fashionably Late—And No, It’s Not Cute
We get it, traffic is a thing. But if you’re showing up 10 minutes late on the regular, it’s not just “fashionably” late—it’s straight-up rude. You’re on the clock too, pal, and no one has time for your tardiness. Blocked. And not the cute kind of blocked either, the “I’m-so-late-I-don’t-even-deserve-a-text-back” blocked.

3. The Bossy Guy – Who Thinks He’s King of the World
Coming into the room like you’ve got the power to order the lady around? Wrong. If you think paying for the service means you can treat her like your personal genie, then you need to check your ego at the door. “Please” and “thank you” go a long way, boss. Blocked for lack of manners and a whole lotta arrogance.

4. “No” Means No (And Not a Hint of ‘Maybe’)
Listen up, darling—when a lady says no, it means NO. No wiggle room, no “maybe later,” just a firm stop. If you’re looking for something she’s not offering, make sure to be clear about your expectations from the start—nothing worse than booking and then being disappointed. Keep pushing for what’s off the table, and you’ll be booking a one-way ticket to Blocksville. Take the “no,” save yourself the drama, and we can both move on without any hard feelings.

5. Shower Drama – Keep It Short, Keep It Sexy
Oh, you really like to shower, huh? No worries, we all love a man who’s clean—but if your idea of a "quick rinse" turns into an hour-long steam session, well, you’re about to get blocked. Five minutes max, champ. We’re not running a spa here. Get in, get out, and let’s get to the fun part.

6. The Stinky Situation—Not Sexy, Not at All
If you’re rocking the “I haven’t showered in three days” vibe, guess what? The only thing you’ll be getting is a blocked number. Hygiene is sexy, my friend, and so is fresh breath—both of which you’re clearly missing. So brush those teeth, hop in the shower, and make sure you’re smelling like a million bucks before you even think about walking through that door. If you still smell like last week’s regrets? You’ll be blocked faster than you can say “I need a bath.”

7. Circumcision Drama—A Gentle Reminder
Let’s tackle this with a little finesse, shall we? If you're not circumcised, that's perfectly fine—but hygiene is non-negotiable. A little extra care goes a long way down there. If cleanliness is overlooked, you’re not just risking discomfort—you’re booking a fast track to Blocksville. It’s a sensitive subject, but trust me, we’re both happier when everything is fresh and clean. 

8. Parking Like a Pro (Or Else)
When visiting a private lady, parking is one of those simple things that can make a big difference. Just follow the parking instructions you’re given—nothing fancy, just a little courtesy. If you happen to park in the wrong spot, it could cause some unnecessary issues, and unfortunately, you might end up blocked. A quick reminder to park as instructed ensures a smooth visit and a much warmer welcome when you arrive. Keep it easy, and everyone’s happy!

9. Clear Expectations – No Last-Minute Surprises
Boys, listen up: If you want something special, be upfront about it. Book the session, and then start adding last-minute “requests” and changes that you want included? Nah, that’s not cute. You’re now on the “wasting my time” list, and I’m about to click that block button faster than you can say “I swear I’m not a time waster.”

10. The No-Show – Seriously?
This one’s simple. Book. Show up. If you’re a "no-show" don’t expect to get another chance. Ever. You’re officially blocked and now officially a legend in the worst possible way.

11. Paranoia at the Door?
You’ve arrived, but uh-oh—there are other men around. Feeling a little anxious? Take a deep breath and remind yourself—it’s not a secret mission! If you start freaking out and let nerves get the best of you, it can turn into a no-show situation. To avoid being blocked, just stay calm, stay cool, and remember: it’s all part of the normal flow. Keep your composure, and you’ll be just fine.

12. Condom Sneakiness – Not the Good Kind
Trying to get a little “extra” and sneakily ditch the condom during doggy style? That’s outright dumb and totally disrespectful, earning you a blocked, blocked and blocked ticket. Health is sexy; dishonesty is not. Think twice before making that move.

13. Drunk, Dumb and Disorderly
We get it, you’ve been out partying, had a few too many, and now you’ve got a raging hard-on, just looking to get a bit of action. But here’s the thing—when you’re slurring your words, reeking of vodka, and nothing’s quite working the way you’d hoped, it’s not exactly the fun vibe we’re going for. A little drunkenness is fine, but repetitive drunkenness will get you blocked faster than you can say "cheers!" So, maybe take a step back, get sober, and come back when you can actually enjoy the moment (and remember it). Otherwise, it’s a one-way ticket to Blocksville, my friend.

14. Drugs? No, No and Just NO
Drugs and sex are a hard no-go zone. Don’t even think about bringing them into the mix. If we catch wind of anything like that, it’s an instant block. We're all about that build-up, the sweet release, and a climax that leaves you on cloud nine. But cross the line, and it’s a permanent block. Let’s keep it clean, safe, and enjoyable for everyone, shall we?

15. Cancelling Like It’s Your Full-Time Job
Alright, here’s the deal: Book once, cancel once? Fine, we’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. But book and cancel twice? Oh honey, you’re getting an instant block—no second chances, no sweet talks. It's like a bad one-night stand, and we’re not sticking around for round two. Keep playing games, and you’ll be left swiping solo, blocked for good. So, either show up or stop wasting everyone’s time—and get ready to enjoy your own company!

16. Ghosting Mid-Booking
You start booking, all excited… and then, bam—you vanish. Where did you go? Did you take a nap? Are you stuck in an existential crisis trying to decide which emoji to send? Either way, block. If you can’t handle a simple conversation via message, how are you going to handle a whole lotta woman in front of you naked? Blocked!

17. Discounts? Are You Serious?
If you show up trying to bargain or say, “I only have $60,” it’s not going to work. The price is what it is, and we’re not in the business of negotiating. We want to make sure you have a great time, but that starts with respecting the set price. If the budget doesn’t match, we can try again another time—just know that’s how it works.

Wrapping Up
So there you have it—straight from both the brothel and the working lady’s perspective. Treat people with respect, keep things clean, and for the love of all that’s good—don’t be a block-worthy fool. If you play it cool, you’ll be welcome back every time. If not? Well, get ready to see your name on the permanent block list, and soon enough, you’ll be all alone, building muscles from all that solo “tugging off” action. Hope you like the sound of your own hand!

Author: Stewart, Forum Member
For: Langtrees.com

TalkinSex Forum | Perth Escorts | Sydney Escorts | Melbourne Escorts | Brisbane Escorts | Darwin Escorts | Adelaide Escorts | Hobart Escorts | New Zealand Escorts